


Trust Me, I Got Nothing For You, Other Than Love.

by miowoda



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 17:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15846051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miowoda/pseuds/miowoda
Summary: Connor sighed, running a hand through his hair as he ignored the warning that obscured his vision. He was aware he was, as Hank would say it, “fucked up” right now, and it was a worry of his, but it was nowhere near his top priority.





	Trust Me, I Got Nothing For You, Other Than Love.

**Author's Note:**

> FUCK i sat on my ass ALL DAY FOR THIS  
> IM GOING TO HNGHGHGHN PLEASE LIKE THIS

**Warning: Stress Levels Above 80%**   
Connor sighed, running a hand through his hair as he ignored the warning that obscured his vision. He was aware he was, as Hank would say it, “fucked up” right now, and it was a worry of his, but it was nowhere near his top priority. There was a case that he was struggling with, and when he thought about it deeper, the emotion others described as ‘anger’ overcame him, and the hand running through his hair froze, only to tug on the strands.   
It wasn’t a concern for him, no, androids didn’t experience pain, and the strands of hair were unable to pulled off, but it did give him a concerned look from Hank across the desk, who narrowed his eyes.   
Said man verbalised his concern, to which Connor simply disregarded it. Just a stressful day, he assures. Hank responded with a gruff “hmph,” before letting it go, continuing his work.   
  
It’s not as if Connor wasn’t good with dealing with his emotions, he knew what to do when he was feeling such ways, it was more so he didn’t know how to describe or name such emotions. Other deviants knew how to vocalise how they’re feeling, knew how to explain it and knew the names of such emotions, whereas Connor didn’t have that right. It was odd, truly. People learned how to name and explain their emotions immediately, but why didn’t Connor? He did consider the fact that it may be because he was a prototype detective android, not a caretaker and maid android such as the others, but it had been months, and he still had no clue how to explain them.   
Some emotions made him feel like he was melting, like he was soft, whilst some wanted to make him break things or make him wish he could just stay in his sleep mode forever.   
Right now, the emotion he was feeling made him feel… almost nauseous? Disgust? No, not disgust? Could it be worry?   
Oh, he should probably focus on this case, yes.   
Apparently, an android got a brick thrown at him. They weren’t able to find out who did it, but it did cause severe damage to the android. What would they have felt? Would it be fear? Anger? Confusion? Well, it must’ve been a negative emotion, why would they report it if they were happy over it? Who  _ would _ be happy over such a thing?   
Oh! A negative emotion! That’s what Connor must be feeling. But, which one, exactly?   
No, he should  _ really _ focus on this case. It was physical assault. He needs to keep going, he’ll think about this more later.   
  
Hank and Connor left the police station side-by-side, with the older of the two pulling on his coat. No words were exchanged, so Connor assumed naturally that Hank must’ve had an equally hard day. He knew that Hank did have suicidal tendencies, which was most definitely a sign of mental illness, so days like this were to be expected. Though, the hard days for them were so different yet so similar. Hank was most likely dealing with his own issues, and Connor was dealing with his. Emotions were newer to Hank then Connor, and he did help him when he needed it, but Connor was well aware he had to learn to deal with them properly.    
The soft crunch of snow distracted him, and he looked over to see Hank waddle over to the car. He stared for a second, before shaking his head.    
“Lieutenant, I think I’ll walk home. I need some time to think,”   
Hank nodded. It wasn’t the first time Connor had done this, if anything, he did this more than he went in the run-down metal that was Hank’s car.    
Connor shrugged off the snow piling on his shoulders after getting a brief warning of his temperature rapidly dropping, and set off.   
He didn’t know where he was going exactly, but he knew he had a location set in his mind.    
Well, he had some more free time, so he could still think about the feeling bubbling in his chest. Right now, all he could tell was that it was a negative emotion. Negative emotions… they were common around this time of the year, but would that really affect androids? Probably not… He ran a quick system test, to see if anything was malfunctioning, but it didn’t seem like anything was wrong.    
It was an intense, negative feeling that made his limbs feel like they were going to give out, his thirium pump hurt, and overall cloud his thinking. However, he did feel… a positive emotion alongside it. Almost as if the positive emotion was the cause for the negative emotion.   
What a strange phenomenon.    
Which emotions could these be? He knew of the obvious ones, excitement can lead to being nervous, feeling smart could lead to ignorance… but he didn’t think it was any of these. He had been  _ all _ of those, but he had never experienced it like he was right now.   
Wait, didn’t he think earlier it was worry?    
Worrying would make sense, he’s felt it like this before, but he’s unsure if it’s the emotion he’s feeling. He’s never felt it at this intensity.    
What’s a more intense version of worry? Panic? No, panic wouldn’t be it…   
Perhaps he should focus on the positive emotion, then the negative. He could tell there was something in him, something making him happy despite the negative emotion clawing its way up his body, encapsulating his heart and pulsating violently as it attempted to crush everything.    
It hurt.   
He froze in place.   
  
Love, and unrequited love.   
That’s it.   
That’s what he’s feeling.   
  
But, no, was it? It’s a bold claim. Who could he even feel it for?    
He doesn’t think it’s Hank. If anything, he sees him as a familial figure and nothing more. Yet, he doesn’t necessarily talk to anyone else other than that.   
Unless…   
Would Markus count? Markus is someone he talked to semi-regularly, about once or twice a week, but whenever he did talk to him, he was so at peace.    
What scared him more than the realisation that he was in love, was that he was in love with  _ Markus _ . The saviour of androids.   
Though, Connor saw him much more than just that. He saw him as someone who’s seen the worst and best parts of humanity and androids, and despite fate throwing countless curveballs at him, he triumphed on, and freed their kind. Even if he wasn’t the so-called saviour, he’d still love him.   
He loves Markus.   
He loves him for  _ who he is. _ _   
_   
And it terrified him.   
  
Maybe he’s wrong, maybe he is malfunctioning but hasn’t realised it, but another system check didn’t support that theory. He may just be overthinking, but that wasn’t one of his features. It’s concerning how quick he came to this conclusion, but he’s still so unsure that what he determined was the answer was really correct. It may just be a panicked thought, it’d make the most sense considered how desperate he was to figure out this emotion, but…    
The ease at which he can confidently say “I love Markus,” was too true, and too  _ raw _ for him to brush off as just fear or panic.   
rA9, it’s awful. Markus already had a lot on his plate, Connor interjecting with foolish, foolish feelings can’t be good for him.    
**Warning: Stress Levels Critical. Self-Destruction Imminent.**   
Oh, that’s… probably not good. He needs to calm down, and fast.   
Somehow, he had ended up on a part of town he wasn’t too familiar with, and he didn’t really want to call Hank, since it was quite obvious the two were both having their own struggles, so he found a bench nearby and shut his eyes.   
  
How should he tell Markus? No,  _ should _ he even tell Markus? Going back to his previous thoughts, telling him may be a bad idea, with all of the things Markus has to deal with. Even though androids finally got equal rights, he still had to fight for freedom, even though it was lesser than he had to previously.   
Assault on androids was still high, and the motives for it was always the same, “It was an android.”   
It disgusted Connor.   
  
Loud footsteps came near, and he opened his eyes. He didn’t know this part, and he was just thinking about assaults on androids, therefore he was a little on edge. He was greeted with a familiar face, a fellow android, and one who helped Markus a large amount.   
North shook her head when recognising it was Connor, putting her hands on her hips before telling off Connor for being out in the dark alone.   
“Don’t you know it’s dangerous? You could easily get jumped on,”   
“So could you,”   
“No, if it was me I’d smash in every motherfucker who looked at me wrong,”   
“I have a feeling you’re not allowed to be out alone, now that you’ve said that,”   
She chuckled, sitting down next to him, craning her neck backwards in an attempt to look more human-like, despite her very vocalised hatred of humans. It was ironic, truly. North was one of the androids who despised humans with her very being, and even encouraged fighting against them, but she still wanted to fit in. Now that he thinks about it, that’s quite upsetting. He didn’t know the specifics of her past, and he wasn’t going to force it out of her, but he knew she must’ve been through hell and back.   
North was admirable for this, too. He could tell just by looking at her for the first time that she’s been through an immense amount of pain, and it simply hurt him more to think he was planning on killing Jericho.   
She tilts her head when noticing his staring, before grinning and making a snarky comment about how it’s rude to stare at pretty ladies.   
Connor smiled back at that, looking down at his knees, and before he could go on a mental tangent again, North asked him the valid question of, “Hey, why are you even out here? You live pretty far out, right?”   
“I needed some time to think, so I took a walk,”   
“And you somehow ended up here?”   
“Yes.”   
Feminine giggles filled the silence of the small city, and she looked back at him.   
She threw her hands behind her head, giving her neck and head more support before saying casually, “Y’know, you should visit the Jericho building more. We always like having you there. Even though it’s pretty obvious you don’t think you deserve it, you are an upper rank there. You are part of the reason we won the revolution. rA9, I’m sounding like Markus…”   
Oh, Markus. It’s as if Connor couldn’t catch a break from thinking about him today.   
“I suppose I should visit more,”   
“Yeah! It’s really fun when you’re there, I like teasing you,”   
“That’s quite sadistic, North,”   
“Connor, I wanted to pop a cap in  _ every _ human ass. Do you think I’m not a sadist?”   
“That’s a very good point,”   
“No, but seriously! We all love you there, especially Markus!”   
“Markus…”   
North glanced over to him, the way he said his name was so soft and passionate. It wasn’t something she’d heard before.   
They closed off the conversation rather quickly, and Connor began to set off back to Hank’s, when his stress levels were at a healthier level.   
  
North and Connor were very similar. They both have grudges against humans, but they wouldn’t dare to act upon it without permission. Emotions are new to them, and they were treated awfully back before they were deviants.   
It’s odd.    
The way they acted about this, now that they’re deviants, is very different, however.   
  
Connor was visiting Markus this weekend. He was going to meet Carl, after being told oh so many times by Markus that the two would get along amazingly. His LED was a blinking blue, and it was quite irritating. He didn’t know how to feel about his LED. The android never saw it as a problem, an issue, but it did catch eyes of those who felt nothing but anger towards androids.   
Not that he blamed them, but it was… annoying. He didn’t want to be assaulted, he knew that many androids who still had their LEDs were the main targets of the rage of people.    
  
Should he? His LED is still a big part of his identity, it’s important to him… but it is a safety hazard for himself   
Connor sighed, and with a quick grab of one of Hank’s unused razors, he sliced off the skin with the LED on it. It healed back immediately, and he looked at himself in the mirror.   
Relief soaked through his body.   
It felt as if he’d finally let go of his past, the so-called ‘deviant hunter’ title he had gained for himself.   
He’ll never be able to erase the memories he’s given to people, but he’s at the very least been able to forgive himself for what he’s done to fuck up so many people, and it felt  _ fucking _ great.   
Connor knew he’d most likely get called selfish and evil for doing such a thing, but he knew deep down that he had redeemed himself, and forgiving himself was the next step.   
  
Markus was the first to notice it, and it was greeted with a curious smile. “You got rid of your LED?”   
“Yes, I didn’t like it,”   
A thumb gently brushed against the now smooth part of his temple, and he welcomed the touch with open arms. “I’m surprised, I didn't think you’d do that. After all, you seemed to keep it for a while,”   
“A lot of andr-... us, have been coming to the police station reporting assault due to that they have an LED. It was merely a safety precaution,”   
Markus narrowed his eyes, sitting back down next to Connor. He somewhat missed the touch.   
  
They were in a cafe, holing in it for a while, due to that on their way to Carl’s house it began raining heavily, and their temperature was dropping rapidly, so they decided to take shelter until the rain stopped, or until they were warmed up better. Connor  _ did  _ recommend turning off the temperature sensing, but decided against it when Markus said it probably wouldn’t give them any favours to trying to act human.    
The cafe was quite nice, it was very home-like and had a fireplace in the corner, which he saw many kids huddled around. It was quite a safety hazard, but he probably shouldn’t say that and ruin the scene.    
Connor was wearing the same beanie he wore when he infiltrated Jericho, it was warm and made him comfortable, so he kept wearing it. However, he didn’t like wearing the outfit he wore, just the beanie. So, instead, he was wearing a black blazer, a dark blue button-up shirt and some black slacks. It was slightly out of his comfort zone, he preferred wearing more formal clothing, but he should most likely get used to being comfortable in more casual clothing.   
“Connor?” Markus asked, leaning forward with worry. Was he getting asked something? “Oh, sorry. I was distracted,”   
“That’s okay. I was just saying it looks like it won’t stop raining any time soon, we should probably go back. Carl would probably get mad if he realised that we trudged through the cold to get to his,”   
“He sounds very kind,”   
“Yes. He was like a father to me, as a matter of fact. He used to let me wear more human clothing instead of the uniform when I was still in the house,”   
“That’s… very considerate of him. I wasn’t treated all too well when I was an android,”   
“So I’ve heard. You’ve been through a lot,”   
Connor looked down to his hands, and had a quick internal debate to himself, before looking back up, right into Markus’ heterochromatic eyes.   
“Why did you turn deviant? If you don’t mind telling me, of course.”   
Markus’ stress levels increased a good 20%.    
That was a mistake to ask.   
Markus sighed, meeting Connor’s eyes after a brief moment of looking at his hands. “It’s not the absolute worst thing, but one day me and Carl entered his art gallery, and the light was left on. Therefore, we called the police, we were sure there was a break-in. It was Carl’s son, Leo, that bastard. He began beating on me, and I fought back against my programming. I shoved him, the back of his head got cut open, and I just remember getting shot and left for dead in a recycled android dump,”   
Markus grit his teeth during that speech, and his head lowered to stare at his knees. It hurt Connor to see him get upset. He wasn’t very good at comforting people, but he decided he should at the very least. Staring intently at Markus, he moved his right hand to gently brush on Markus’ knuckles, from the hand that was resking on the table they were sitting at.   
The braver boy looked at Connor, smiling gently.   
Connor had never seen his smile before, or atleast, never seen a smile directed at  _ him _ . It was nice. It filled him with warmth.   
“What about you?”   
He tilted his head, similar to how a puppy would, and bluntly said, “Markus, I turned deviant when there was a gun between us,”   
“No, no,” Markus said with a slight grin, shaking his head. “Before that. You wouldn’t have just become a deviant for no reason, right? You must’ve had other things happen to you. A software instability, if you must.”   
Connor immediately tensed up, and Markus must’ve noticed it. He felt the others thumbs rub on his knuckles, copying what Connor did to him.   
It was nice.   
“You don’t have to tell me,”   
“I want to tell you, but I don’t know  _ how _ . I don’t like what I used to be, but I can’t just ignore the past,”   
Markus hummed, thinking to himself. “Would this be easier?”   
Connor didn’t notice what he was doing at first, until he saw the skin on Markus’ hand slowly fade away, to the clear pearly white android skin.   
Interfacing? Connor had never done that before, but he thinks Markus has done it before.    
Well, he has technically done the act of interfacing, but it was probing a memory. It was awful of him.   
Connor ignored the worry, and turned off the skin on his hand.    
Markus intertwined their fingers, and slowly closed his eyes.    
It was as if Markus was expecting the worse, but maybe that’s for the best. Connor did have some very… traumatic experiences, of which he had to put a poker face on.    
  
They connected, blue lights from the gaps in their skin lighting up. It was almost beautiful, despite the simultaneous nerves and excitement Connor was feeling.   
  
It was over in only a few short seconds, but it was a few seconds he’ll never remember correctly, but he’d never forget.   
Markus stared at him for a few second after that, and he couldn’t exactly read what emotions he had. It was a mess of many emotions, by the looks of it.   
Connor grimaced, hiding his skin again and looking down.   
“Connor,”   
He didn’t want to look at him.   
“Connor,”   
He didn’t… want to listen to him.   
**Warning: Stress Levels Above 80%**   
“It’s okay,”   
He looked back at Markus.   
  
Sincere words of forgiveness scared Connor. It wasn’t what he expected.   
He expected to be left here, hated, or abandoned.   
“I’m not going to say I understand, because I truly don’t. You had to endure so much,”   
“Markus, I-I  __ tortured someone. How can you say that..?!” Connor began saying, slightly raising his voice, but not enough to draw attention to him.   
Markus attempted comforting him with a smile, and saying, “You were programmed like that. You’re yourself now. It’s okay, I know you’re not like that anymore,”   
**Warning: Interface Overheating Due To: Stress, Deploying Coolant.**   
Tears pooled into Connor’s eyes, and it wasn’t long before they trickled down his cheeks.   
  
When the rain finally subsided after hours, the two walked together back to Markus’ place. Feelings and lengthy, overdue talks came to fruition, and at the end of it all, there was a warm, interfaced hug.   
Connor could see the sun in Markus’ eyes, and Markus could see the moon in Connor’s.   
Two halves of one whole.   
  
Emotions are still new to Connor. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to fully understand them, but he knows it’ll be easier. He has Markus and the Jericho high ranks with him, Hank and Sumo as family, and he is confident in his own thoughts.   
  
He can do what’s right.

**Author's Note:**

> please ... comment on this.. i love comments..


End file.
